Old Steady, the Conscience and the Magician
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: MAX plus HARPER equals AWESOME. Marper oneshots. Latest chapter: that Jeremy from science was one lucky guy...
1. The Conscience

A/N:** these will be some Marper oneshots based on the show, because after HM destroyed my dreams of Lackson... well, a girl has to move on. Lol. So here's to my new OTP: Marper.**

The first one is based on the recent episodes with Max's conscience.

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**Max's conscience realizes something that he didn't.**

_"Now remember this isn't a date unless we see Jeremy from Science and you better act like you're totally into me," - Harper to Max's conscience._

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"Wow. You know, she's pretty hot." Tilting his head on the side Max's conscience took a good long look at Harper and commented on it as if noticing it for the first time.

"Dude, you're not supposed to say that. You're my conscience... you're supposed to be saying something smart and studylike-" Studylike... not really a word _or is it..._ Max wondered and then just shrugged off questioning it.

"Hey, I'm just voicing something that you must have thought of before." That was the way it worked, Conscience didn't come up with things all on his own.

"Well if you're so smart then how come I don't remember thinking it?" _Ha. Round one goes to Max. _He could trick even his own conscience... yeah, he was good.

"Do you remember what socks you're wearing right now?"

Max looked down before giving his conscience an impressed look. "Touche, Conscience. Touche." Maybe Harper was pretty hot come to think about it... why _hadn't _he thought of that before? Or _had_ he? Drat, it was all too confusing. Max looked at his socks again- he hadn't even remembered putting those on... sweet. Now what was he thinking about again?

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_More to come!_


	2. Old Steady

A/N. **Those Russos, always getting themselves in life endangering situations.**

_---_

**Max becomes 'old steady'... not really at the best time.**

_  
Harper: "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm threatened by this new girl in Justin's life. He's dabbled by all of these exotic girls like werewolves but old steady's going to win this race."_

__

Theresa: "Good for you Harper."

_Harper: "You want to know who old steady is? This girl."_

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"You know it's totally fine that she's with Zeke, cause old steady's going to win the race. That's me - old steady-" The three Russos were hanging upside down like bats from some spell they had never seen before in quite the predicament in the basement of Wiztech.

"Max? Why are you still talking?" Alex was evidently not impressed at her brother's babbling.

"Oh yeah- I just thought you wanted me to fill the void - you know, so you don't have the pressure to try to think of something to get us out of this-" _Why had he been talking again?_

"Max. Shut up." Justin put in with the blood rushing to his head, irritably backing up his sister on one of those rare occasions where they had to work together or... well, die.

"Duly noted." _Right. _Predicament at hand... he could stew over **not **being jealous of Zeke later.

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_More to come!_


	3. Randomness

A/N. **One word: Random.**

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**Harper asks Max for some advice.**

_Juliet: "Hey Max maybe you can help me with something. How do you get your brother to say what's on his mind?"_

__

Max: "That's easy... randomness."

Juliet: "What?"

Max: "You know you say something random until someone says what's on their mind. Do you wonder why pineapples don't where bathrobes?"

Juliet: "What? Why would you even say that? I was just saying that Justin doesn't want to go on vacation with me and how much that makes me upset because I might be in love with him. Wow that random stuff really works!"

_Max: "What random stuff? I haven't even done it yet." _

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"Hey Max, I need your advice." Harper played with her purse in her hand shaped like a gopher- and where was Alex when someone needed her?

"You just say something totally random and people will tell you what they're thinking... it's like magic." Busy at the kitchen counter making a sandwich he didn't pay too much attention to her, or her question. That was his standard advice. He should start mass marketing it on fortune cookies!

"Ha. Magic." Harper snorted a laugh from her own uncomfortableness. How was she still finding amusement in that? The wizard thing was normal by now wasn't it? She **lived** with it.

"Yeah, because it begins with an 'M' - that is pretty funny" he began laughing as well only to stop short a moment later, "why are we laughing again?"

"Because you're wizards and you just said the word - uh, it doesn't matter. So was your advice is just to say things spontaneous?"

"Now you're thinking! Wait- my advice? What advice do you need?" A nice spreading of blood red over the slices of bread - perfect... and Max hadn't even noticed that he had given any advice.

Harper stopped, trying to figure out what he could possibly mean. "Wait. Is your advice to be spontaneous or just confusing?"

"Now you're just confusing me." Max fell on the couch with the sandwich he'd been fixing. Yes. Finally. Ketchup on the outside AND the inside of a sandwich. It was genius. He didn't know why he hadn't tried it before.

Harper fell on the couch beside him looking glum, "that makes two of us." She turned her head to him taking him in for a moment. "Wait, you've got a bit of ketchup."

"Where?"

"Well," she hesitated but there wasn't a little bit that she could just wipe off herself, "everywhere really."

"Great! Can never get enough of this stuff!" He proceeded to rub the bread already stained with ketchup over his face in a poor attempt to soak up the ketchup he'd already gotten there and then beamed at her with a big ketchupy grin...

...and instead of being repulsed all Harper could think of was that she'd always liked the color red - red like cherries - or apples - or the face of the brother you've never wanted before. Weird. That's all it was. One weird afternoon. Now instead of getting advice on Justin she was going to go and make something red! That ought to cheer her up. Max may not have known the right things to say but he knew how to do **something. ** **_Red, hmmm... _yeah, she could do something with red.**

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_One More to Come- for now!_


	4. Similarities

A/N. **The similarities in cluelessness between Harper/Max/Zeke is actually what inspired my love for the Max/Harper pairing.**

**---**

**Alex points out the obvious.**

_Harper: "Hey Zeke I was wondering if you would...be on the prom planning commitee and afterwards maybe you could be on the cleaning up commitee and maybe in between you and I could go to see if everyone's having a good time."_

_Zeke: "Are you asking me to be on three committees! That's awesome_!"

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"Hey um, Harper - have you ever noticed anything... familiar about him? A Russo family resemblance." Hint, hint. How could she not see it? Zeke and Max were standing there two meters away discussing times they'd licked their fingers and touched lightbulbs to see if they'd get a shock (and then high-fiving about it) - it was plain as day that Harper had fallen for someone that did not resemble the brother that she always claimed to want. Heh. Kind of ironic when Alex thought about it.

Harper caught on to what she was saying fast. "Who? Zeke? I guess in this light his hair kind of does look like Justin's, thanks Alex."

Alex just hit her head on the table in front of her. "Ugh."

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_No more to come until you request it - or I get inspired... whatever comes first!_


	5. Notice

This is just an interlude to say that I've developed what was going to be one of these requested oneshots (based on the episode Future Harper) into a full story... so there will be a temporary break in updating this unless anyone else wants to request ideas or lines from the show they would like to see developed into one of these oneshots.

Until then check out the other story of mine "Boy Salad with a Twist".

-JL.


	6. Welcome to the Family

A/N. **I wanted to write something cute.**

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**Welcome to the Family.**

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"Today's the day when I finally get to call you mom and dad without seeming creepy,"

"Oh Harper," Theresa Russo began as if she was about to say something sentimental to mark the occasion, "you'll always seem creepy to us."

"What Theresa is trying to say is that you were already family before you decided to marry Max, so are you sure you don't want to back out of it now?" Jerry Russo jested as his wife slapped him on the arm and Harper laughed.

"I'm really glad you're joining the family too," Justin told her genuinely, although didn't add the part about thanking Merlin that she wasn't joining the family officially because of him.

"Yeah, and even though you didn't do _much _better than Justin, it's still an improvement," put in Alex with a point and a laugh at Justin before the Russo family sans Max got together for a family group hug.

"Welcome to the family Harper" Theresa announced and they all hugged her tighter. It was good before but it would become even better when she could be known as Harper Russo.

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_Divine Child and I have pretty avatars of Marper on our profile page- if anyone else wants one on their profile page let me know!_

_Review for more!_


	7. Jeremy from Science

A/N. **Max has been jealous of Jeremy from science for a while now.**

**---**

**The lie continues.**

_Harper: "Is there even a Jeremy in science?"_

_Alex: "Of course there is! He-he has a huge crush on you._"

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"An entire year and Jeremy from science never even asked me out once!"

"Why don't you just ask him?"

"I would but I..." Harper blushed, "kinda don't know who he is."

"You want to date some guy you don't know?"

Was Max judging her? She felt the need to get on the defensive. "Because Justin is happy with Juliet and Alex fell in love with Mason and even though it didn't work out I need someone to convince me to hate guys too and break my heart into nitty gritty pieces and..." Harper was pinching her fingers together with so much anger that her fingers were turning blue instead of white.

"You know if you don't know who Jeremy from science is you may as well just go out with me," Max wasn't sure he really meant it, he was distracted with thinking about this.

"I could... but only until Jeremy from science asks me!"

Max thought that Jeremy from science had to be some lucky guy (whoever he was) to have Harper waiting around for him like that... almost as lucky as some guy on TV that he saw that owned a moose- now _that _guy was a lucky guy.

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_I'm tempted to write a oneshot based on Wizards vs Werewolves - review if you'd like to see it!_


	8. Jeremy from Science Part II

A/N. **Max has been jealous of Jeremy from science for a while now.**

**---**

**The lie ends.**

_Harper: "Is there even a Jeremy in science?"_

_Alex: "Of course there is! He-he has a huge crush on you._"

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"Guys, quit it! Jeremy from science is not real!" Alex finally broke through Harper and Max's musings on who the mystery guy might be.

"What do you mean he's not real? I wrote him love letters!"

"What do ya mean he's not real? I wrote him hate mail!" Harper and Max both answered respectively at the same time and turned, pausing with their attention on each other and not on the girl who had been lying to them for almost the whole of the past year.

"You wrote him hate mail?"

"Wait... you wrote love letters?"

"Well, yeah... I was just being creative."

"Yeah, that's a totally good excuse- so was I..." Max agreed, stealing her line.

Both of them glared at each other suspiciously for a moment before letting it go when Max walked into the other room.

"I'm still not forgiving you for this," Harper turned her attention to the forgotten about Alex who was now making herself some food.

"Yeah, I think I can live with that." It was either the lie or having Harper find out they were wizards, which she did anyway... oh well.

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_Stop what you're doing right now! AND:_

_**Go to: Fanpop dot com slash spots slash Marper**_

**_And join up now - so the community will live on and the love of Marper will spread!_**


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